Naija Blog (Classic Men Entertainment)

Must Read True Confession By Akpos I was a Candidate at a JAMB Examination. We were writing Use Of English. I shaded the ones i knew and was waiting for manner to fall from Heaven when i noticed a very beautiful girl sitting beside me. She was shading and was not looking up. Through the help of my long neck, i peeped and checked her work, she was on number 65, i was still on number 21 and time was running out. I quickly thanked God and started shading along with her. We got to number 98 together, suddenly, she looked up, caught me and shouted in a low tone, What are it? Why is you dey copying me? Copys! copys! You is not shaming! As big as you dey! You is a dull boys! You are a disgrace to your manhood. Na so i shout; heeeey! heeeeyyy!!! heeeyyyy!!! I am finished yay, who has eraser eeeehhhh!!!!!!! ! Bad Market..... Hit Like If You Understand.

Akpos drops girl at home, he puts his hand on d wall by d gate for support, leans towards her AKPOS: Can I kiss you? GIRL: Not now, I'm at home. AKPOS: Please. GIRL: No. AKPOS: You were too sweet in bed today. GIRL: Waoh! you too, full of energy. I could not believe we had 4 rounds. AKPOS: Let me kiss u good night. GIRL: Someone may be watching,they still think I'm a virgin at home. This goes on for ten minutes, then girl's brother appears at the gate and says "Dad says whether u kiss him or not its your decision,ur punishment go still dey wait for u inside, but tell that bastard to remove his hand from the intercom button, everyone at home is listening to your conversation"

Phone rings CHICHI:"Hello.. . AKPORS:"My luv how r u doing.. ?? . CHICHI:"Am fine.. . AKPORS:"Will you be free during the weekend,and can u come to my house.. ?? . CHICHI:"Am sorry I cant make it because Iwill be attending my aunty's wedding and the next day i'l be busy,im so occupied.. . AKPORS:"Ooh ok,was just planning to take u out for shopping,suprise u with an iPhone5, then buy u the dress u've been asking for... . CHICHI:"I will be coming and I may even spend the whole weekend there if you want my love.. . AKPORS:"What about the wedding.. ?? . CHICHI:"Which wedding,I was joking... . AKPORS:"Me too..:p :O

A father passing by her teenage Son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:- Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new Girlfriend Ekattie because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Ekattie and she is so nice to me. I know when you meet her you'll like her too - even with all her piercing, tattoos, and striper clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, She is pregnant and Ekattie said that she wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Ekattie is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days, is it? ), and has no money, really th...

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day, he decided to drivethe cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing. As we was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat farther and farther away, but the darn cat would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on untilhe reached what he thought wasa safe distance from his home and he left the cat there. Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes," the wife answers. "Why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answers:"Put that damn cat on the phone.I'm lost and I need directions!"

  For those of you who watch what you eat... Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans 4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently  what kills you. From Your Dear Akpors

A woman ask Akpos, " if i sleep with 3 men they call me a slut, but if a man sleeps with 10 girls, everyone calls him a real man". How come ? Akpos replies: " its very simple, when one lock can be opened by 3 different keys, its a bad lock, but when one key open 10 different locks, we call it a master key".